I've been feeling a bit sentimental lately, when it comes to babies. Specifically my babies. Perhaps because I just had the last one I plan on having. Maybe also, because I know so many others right now, who are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their next baby. It hit me that I (probably) won't experience that kind of anticipation again. No one knows that kind of hope & wonder & boundless excitement, unless you've experienced it.
I want to freeze frame every little moment.
Every new smile.
Every new sound. Every change. Every time Levi asks to 'hold her'.
I sit with you after our middle-of-the-night feedings, when it's just you & me in all the world. I look down, studying your features, taking in your breath, wanting to take in anything of you I can. You, huddled against me, legs tucked up under & your torso so wiggly, it's like you're trying to meld yourself into me. Get back on the inside. And I think for just a second, if I will it too, it can happen. I can absorb you. Get you back on the inside where you're protected from all that is scary in the world.
From the moment you babies come out, I think we mommies are trying to figure out how to get you back in.
I hope to forever remember these early newborn times. As difficult as the transition can be… I can't imagine not having experienced it.
*A public thanks to my beautiful, Denise Richards-look-alike doctor, for always being proactive without being an alarmist.*
1 comment:
I remember feeling all these very sentiments with Emory. I just wanted to imprint everything on my mind, especially those quiet, night time feedings! Sigh. And now she's starting kindergarten! Double sigh. Enjoy these precious, beautiful moments!!!!
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